To sing....or not to sing.....

Lately I've been quite immersed into this whole music thing...
I'm in the top 4 of a crazy competition - that I have actually been really enjoying. It's made me realize how much I truly love to perform - and not just perform, but how much I LOVE to sing. Music has always been the thing in me that brings me closest to God.
The new thought is maybe I should be persuing this thing for real. Maybe I should actually record and go on a little tour and really enjoy this thing while I can.
The other day the 4 of us that are left in the competition had to go to Avante studio to meet with 4 different people. The first person helped us with vocal stuff, the second helped us with stage presence, the third helped us with our music aspirations and future goals, and the last one interviewed us. Now the last one was the one that scared me the most to be honest. Me and interviews don't exactly go hand in hand...
But I LOVED it...it really made me think about things that I hadn't thought about in a really long time and David's questions were really fun. A couple examples....
1. Who is someone in your life that was really influencial to the person that you are today?
2. Do you sing in the shower? And if so - is it passively?
3. If you could ask God a question, what would it be?
4. What is your favorite instrument?
5. What is something that no one would necessarily know about you, but that you would like them to know....

That last one was really tough to me....not the rest.....of course I sing in the shower - I really sing ALL THE TIME, and NO it is never passively - I'm ALWAYS on stage in the shower!
For the last one - I realized that something that I have felt INCREDIBLY strong about my whole life is that (and maybe as a Christian this is a normal feeling) but that I have this deep desire and passion to make a difference. I've tried to make a difference a million different ways and have given up or have been unsuccessful and I feel like maybe I can do that with music somehow. If God can show me how to write from my heart and be honest with the way that I feel and sing, that maybe that might be a possibility.
Being a musician is not a very easy living I'm sure and I know there are a lot of trials that would happen - but it has been my dream ever since I was a little kid karaokeing (Yes! I TOTALLY had my own machine in my room) to Maria Carey and MC hammer...those were the only 2 tapes I had!!! Well, my dream has remained the same although my music taste thankfully has not. I want to thank Marc Vandersluys and Chris Lacey though for actually teaching me the guitar which has opened up doors for me...I don't think I ever really thanked them. I love them.
Anyhow - That is my thought....it's a scary one and one that God would be in complete control of...not me.....that is a big and scary step for me....
so - anyhow - we'll see what happens...maybe nothing...
I'm out.