Pic of Kai and thoughts about creating......

I have been thinking lately about how I have this feeling deep inside of me that I was made to create. I don't think that this will be any kind of earth shattering of creating, but just to create. I have been really thinking about this lately. I seem to get so caught up in caring what people think, and caring about how I sound, and how I come across, that I have lost the beauty of creating.
I was at Jane, Kathryn, Kalyn and Merri-Lou's show tonight, and I really really enjoyed it. I realized that I don't often get to sit back and be proud of the fact that I created something. I find that I chicken out far before that.
Those of you who know me well, know that I start a MILLION projects, do all the hard work, and then quit while I'm a head, b/c I am really afraid to fail. I need to really suck it up and be ok with failing, but look at it like a learning experience. I LOVE music, I LOVE art. I need to get back my passion for it, and really remember why I started doing it in the first place.
I was thinking about how often it is so easy to be self concious about what we do, that it is easy to hold back when doing it. I was thinking (I thought of it while sending a TOTALLY nuerotic email to Jane) that it would be AMAZING to do a "pray and play" or something like that - I'm pretty bad with cool, interesting names - but something where a group of us got together on a regular basis and prayed, and did devotions and b/c we were really opening up with each other, we were loosing all those inhibitions, and were not as self concious with each other and just really able to be ourselves, then after prayer and study, we would just jam. We would just giver, and just create music, and be free.
Anyhow - let me know what you think....I'm interested.....it might be (as well) just another neurotic thought from me.....(or - haha - something I think of, and NEVER finish)
I'm out.